I’ve been gone for way too long, I know (well, for my liking anyway). I had full intentions to post at the end of last week about how coming out at work went, but obviously, I didn’t. I think work caught up with me, and then I wasn’t feeling too well, so it kind of fell by the wayside. Anyway, as the title of this post suggests, coming out went as smoothly as could be. Check out my video for updates on how my coworkers reacted to the news and my first month on T.
(The first 7 seconds are weird and I don’t know how to fix it…but it’s good after that)
It’s almost time for the coming out at work, and I’m getting more nervous by the hour, even though the first unveiling isn’t until tomorrow and the second on Thursday. Still, the more I think about it, the more I just want to throw up. I won’t be at the meeting on Wednesday since those staff are not really my direct coworkers, but I will be at the meeting on Thursday, and that’s the one I’m more nervous about. Not only do I have to see their faces when they hear the news, and deal with any possible responses or reactions, but I have to work with them and interact with them on a daily basis. So if this doesn’t go over well, it would suck. A lot. I have this crazy habit of working myself up in a tizzy before situations like this and envisioning how deadly awful they’ll be, but the reality is never even close. I’m sure breaking the news to my coworkers won’t be anything like what I’ve made it out to be in my head, but still, I’m scared. At least I know that I have the full support of the three people in the office who rank above me, which at times does considerably ease my anxiety. Keep reading
I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since my first shot of T. Okay no, that’s a lie, I can believe it—because it’s felt like a month. It’s crazy to me that my top surgery date seems so quickly approaching (it’s not) but each T shot seems so far away (they’re not). I’m procrastinating taking tonight’s shot by writing this post, but by the time most of you are reading it, I’ll be two shots in to the physical transformation that’s bound to happen. Why I’m procrastinating taking it, I’m not sure. Probably because I’ve been looking forward to it since the minute I took the last one two weeks ago, and as soon as the plunger hits plastic and the syringe is empty, it’s another long two week wait.
As far as noticeable changes go, I’d be lying if I said I noticed any other than one minor annoying issue which is a tad bit private, if you know what I mean. (I’m sure all of the others on T out there do.) Although, I was so excited after my first shot two Thursdays ago that I woke up early on Friday to get ready for work, saw a few hairs on my left index finger, and excitedly shook Alex awake to tell him I had hair growth from the T. I think he laughed, rolled his eye at me, and went back to bed. I was convinced it was from the T, even though it most obviously was not. Keep reading
I can’t believe that my top surgery consult date is less than a week away. Three days away, to be exact. I clearly remember 9 weeks ago, when I had made the appointment and shortly after that wrote my first post here on this blog. What seemed like ages in the future has now come to be so close. I’m trying not to obsess over the appointment…the more I think about it, the more nervous I get. I’m definitely scared and nervous about standing half-naked in front of somebody while they poke and prod the very area that I so highly dislike. But I’m way more scared about the possibility of not walking out of there with a surgery date. I got my letter from my therapist on Saturday, so I’m all set from that end, but you never know what’s going to happen during the consult. I could ramble on and on about this, but the fact is, it won’t give me any answers. So I just have to mentally table it until then and wait it out. Keep reading
Quick work update this morning…I have come out to my first person!
As I mentioned in my last post, there was the possibility of me coming out to a coworker relatively soon, or rather, my coworker’s friend (who is my former professor) mentioning my transition to my coworker. That conversation never actually happened between the two of them, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell my coworker myself. Rather than bore you with the exact details of the conversation, I can pretty much sum it up in one word: Awesome.