Category Archives: General transition thoughts

In-Depth Update

I’ve been one month post-op, and things have finally settled down enough (between my chest and my legs) that I can give a true update and explain a bit about what happened.  You’ll remember from my last post that I had some major complications from my top surgery, but with my legs, not my chest.  Here’s how it went down:

I went in for top surgery on November 21st, and honestly, I was scared.  Irrationally so (what if I didn’t wake up from the anesthesia?), but scared nonetheless.  I was also super excited, like how could this be happening to me?  Usually I wax and wane over decisions for months–and that’s only over buying a new TV or expensive pair of shoes, not top surgery!  But I digress… The day of the surgery, everything went as planned.  I had my pre-op appointment at the surgeon’s office early in the morning, and then drove down the road to the surgery center.  My last picture of me ever with boobs:

Keep reading

Tomorrow

I have no idea where the time has gone.  Top surgery is literally tomorrow.  The past few weeks have been so busy, I completely neglected posting anything.   On top of being busy, I realized yesterday that I was avoided posting for a reason, too.  Not only haven’t I posted, but I haven’t really been reading any blogs or looking at anything trans-related.  I ended up completely avoiding anything trans-related because it just hit too close to home.  Once the top surgery countdown was under one month, I got progressively nervous.  All I wanted to do was to avoid thoughts around being trans, the surgery, the reports of violence against those in the trans community, etc.  I also knew that nothing would take away this nervousness except for being post-op, so I did the best I could to avoid it.  Which, unfortunately, meant passively avoiding anything trans-related.  However, now that the surgery is literally less than 12 hours away, I’m okay with confronting my anxiety because in less than a day it will be all over. Keep reading

2 Months on T and Endo Update

Yesterday marked my second (month) anniversary with T.  It’s been exciting so far, especially as I’ve seen the most changes in the past two weeks.  Check out the below video to hear about some of those (and hear how my voice has definitely, albeit barely, dropped) and see how my endocrinologist appointment went.  (Cliff notes version: it wasn’t the greatest, but I got clearance for surgery.)

 

(Again, the first ten seconds or so are odd but I still don’t know how to fix that.  If anybody does, email me, please!)

First Mini-Shave

I shaved this past weekend.  Not a full shave yet, but still a shave to the point where I was dragging blades across my tender face.  I really wasn’t planning to shave this soon into my transition (I’ve only been on testosterone for 6 weeks), but I didn’t have a choice, really.  I was chatting with a coworker this past Friday and she happened to mention that she could see my mustache.  At first, I thought it was pretty cool as it meant my T was definitely working!  Yet then I thought back to the people I had conversations with earlier in the day (my boss, her boss, and others) and realized that I was mortified…what if they has seen my mustache too?!  I then decided that the dark hair just had to go. Keep reading

Eyebrows

Be “warned”—for better or for worse, this is one of my more jocular posts.  I’ve been having a minor dilemma lately.  About what, you ask?  See the title of this post: eyebrows.  Seemingly random, I know.  But let me explain.  Most people have these little patches of hairs above their eyes, and they’re considered a pretty mundane, normal, and necessary thing.  I’ve always been a bit obsessive about my eyebrows, plucking here and there until I deemed no hair was out of place.  They were never something I thought about in relation to transitioning, and once I decided to start transitioning, I started to try to butch them up a bit.  You know, so they didn’t look quite like this anymore:

It wasn’t until my mom made a comment about my eyebrows a few months ago that I realized I probably needed to pay some attention to them during my transition.  When I first came out to her with my decision to transition, I remember her clearly exclaiming over the phone, “But you have girl eyebrows!”  I laughed and shook my head, surprised that that was what first popped into her head.  As if I would look in the mirror, realize that I have “girl eyebrows” and think, “oh my god, I can’t transition now!”  I figured that I would just let them grow into a less groomed, more manly state, and if the current shape of my eyebrows is one of my bigger transition-related concerns, then my transition will be a piece of cake. Keep reading

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