I shaved this past weekend. Not a full shave yet, but still a shave to the point where I was dragging blades across my tender face. I really wasn’t planning to shave this soon into my transition (I’ve only been on testosterone for 6 weeks), but I didn’t have a choice, really. I was chatting with a coworker this past Friday and she happened to mention that she could see my mustache. At first, I thought it was pretty cool as it meant my T was definitely working! Yet then I thought back to the people I had conversations with earlier in the day (my boss, her boss, and others) and realized that I was mortified…what if they has seen my mustache too?! I then decided that the dark hair just had to go. Having never shaved my face before, I only had Alex’s guidance to go on, in addition to his shaving cream which, unbeknownst to me, was infused with menthol. Holy hell, does that shit burn. But I survived the experience with no missed hairs, cuts, nicks, or post-shave razor burn. Even though I only shaved off the ‘stache and not my whole face, I still consider it my shaving milestone. Unfortunately, this is the beginning of the end of my hairless baby face.
In other news, everything else has been going well and progressing along nicely. I recently spoke with a member from my surgeon’s team to go over pre- and post-op care instructions as well as other surgery details. While the surgery is still just over a month away, having that conversation definitely made it more real in my head, that it’s actually going to happen. The only thing that stands in my way is a letter from my endocrinologist, the doctor I see for my Type I Diabetes.
Having T1D since I was 9, I have a pretty good handle on everything, but since I’m going to be under general anesthesia for 3 hours, the surgeon wants to have clear instructions from my endo about how to handle my insulin and other meds. The only minor issue with this is that my endocrinologist has no idea I’m trans or that I’ve started taking hormones since I last had an appointment. I’m seeing her tomorrow, so she will know in less than 24 hours. I’m a bit nervous as the practice that I go to is a city away from mine and in a very well-off and somewhat conservative area. To make it worse, in addition to providing doctors and endocrinologists, this office also does cosmetic procedures such as Botox and chemical peels—many wealthy and seemingly conservative people (not to mention attractive and thin, but that’s a different issue) go there and work there. I’ve always felt uncomfortable there even as a mere lesbian, like all heads turn to stare at me in the waiting room when I walk in. I just hope to god that the endo I’m seeing tomorrow is trans-friendly and will write me the letter that I so desperately need.
Posted on October 18, 2011, in General transition thoughts, Surgery and tagged diabetes, female to male, ftm, gender, gender expression, gender identity, glbtq, hormones, lgbtq, testosterone, top surgery, trans, transgender. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.