Almost Time

It’s almost time for the coming out at work, and I’m getting more nervous by the hour, even though the first unveiling isn’t until tomorrow and the second on Thursday.  Still, the more I think about it, the more I just want to throw up.  I won’t be at the meeting on Wednesday since those staff are not really my direct coworkers, but I will be at the meeting on Thursday, and that’s the one I’m more nervous about.  Not only do I have to see their faces when they hear the news, and deal with any possible responses or reactions, but I have to work with them and interact with them on a daily basis.  So if this doesn’t go over well, it would suck.  A lot.  I have this crazy habit of working myself up in a tizzy before situations like this and envisioning how deadly awful they’ll be, but the reality is never even close.  I’m sure breaking the news to my coworkers won’t be anything like what I’ve made it out to be in my head, but still, I’m scared.  At least I know that I have the full support of the three people in the office who rank above me, which at times does considerably ease my anxiety.

On another completely unrelated note, I feel it’s only appropriate to make a brief mention of the DADT repeal.  While this is certainly an exciting and moving time, I realize that the DADT repeal only covers the L, G, and B of the alphabet soup–there is no reprieve for the trans folks out there, if I understand correctly.  And while I’m much more pro-peace than I am pro-war, and while this doesn’t have a direct effect on me, the fact that there is no gender protection for service members is both sad and infuriating.  I can’t even imagine being trans in the military and seeing other LGB people rejoice over the DADT repeal while you still have to remain closeted and hidden.  It’s like as far as we’ve come with the repeal, there’s still so far left to go.  But by no means do I want my thoughts on the lack of trans protection to take away from the DADT repeal or those who have served (or continue to serve) while in the closet.  A friend of mine posted the following video on Facebook a few weeks ago and I had to share it here.  Like I said, while I’m not a pro-military person, this brief video and picture slide show was incredibly moving, and I encourage you all to check it out.

Posted on September 20, 2011, in Media, Transitioning at work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Tracy, good luck at work, I’m sure it will go fine!

  2. Best of luck, Tracy. Rooting you on from the sidelines! 🙂

  3. Tracy – I know EXACTLY how you feel about coming out at work! I have a job in a predominantly male field, and have always been surprised at the acceptance when living as a lesbian. However, now that I have realized I am trans, I get to start all over. So far, my coworkers and employers have been accepting of this as well. This showed me that it is the person and the job they do that matters, NOT the gender they are!
    I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised and all will go well. Keep your head up, and good luck!


    • Let’s hope so! Living in such a conservative state (AZ), I anticipated plenty of non-acceptance from coworkers when I first came out as gay, but I’ve been nothing but accepted, like it’s no big deal. So that definitely does make me feel better, but, as you know I’m sure, this is a tad bit different in some people’s minds. That’s awesome that your coworkers/employers have been good…it makes a world of difference!

  4. I work with Tracy and I love him no matter what. Tracy should feel comfortable in his own skin and it doesn’t matter to me what he looks like on the outside because I love him for who he is on the inside. He is definitely an asset here and makes the workplace better. I used to have my office right next to Tracy and I miss having him next door.

    Tracy, I think you are really brave to take this journey. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. * Also, I love the name Jacob! I considered that name for my son (but a family friend already had that name).

  5. Hey it will be okay. I know it can be scary to come out at times, but it will be okay. Since you have the support of three individuals that are above you, all you will have to do is go to them if you have any problems. Just remember that some people will most likely be curious and ask questions. Try not to take what they say offensively, because most is spoken out of a lack of education about the topic. Even though it is not your job to educate them, you might be the only trans person that you know. They way you react could give them a lasting impression. In the end it will be okay.

    Thanks for reading.

    • You make good points, and I’ll definitely keep that in mind. I’m good with answering literally almost any questions, and as long as people are respectful, I’m cool.

  6. Good luck with work! =D I feel like it will go well for you. My thoughts are with you.

  7. Best of luck at work!!! I am rooting for you! I know the anxiety that goes along with this, through the coming out of a coworker a few years ago.

    I could not imagine being trans in the military, though many transition upon leaving the service.

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