I know it’s been almost two weeks since I posted something, and I’m not really sure why. Probably because not much has been going on. For whatever reason, I haven’t really been focusing too much on my upcoming transition. I think it’s because I can’t really do much about it right now. I already am prone to anxiety, so I figure it’s easier to not focus on something that I have no control over until, at the very least, August 31st. I’ve definitely been putting more energy and focus into other areas of my life, like work, exercising in a healthy manner, and even allowing myself to relax and do some things I enjoy (reading, crafting, playing canasta, etc.). The more I think about my appointment on the 31st, and what it could really signify (the beginning of what could be my “new life,” so to speak), the more anxious I get. So for the next two weeks, I’d rather not think about it too much. Similar to what Marie spoke about previously in her blog, I feel like many posts of mine kind of reiterate the same or similar things, and as of late, there hasn’t been much that’s new enough to discuss. here I don’t know if other trans folks out there (or other people going through similar things (I don’t actually identify as “trans,” but that’s for another post), or really anyone at all) are curious about certain aspects of my life, or would be interested to read about a certain topic, but I feel like I won’t really have much to talk about until the surgery consult happens and/or I start taking testosterone and can begin to document and talk about actual changes that are occurring.
I’m sure I have some stories to tell, either of my past/childhood, or thoughts and feelings about certain things, but as of right now, they don’t really seem pressing enough to me where I need to get them out. I’m all for sharing my story (in fact, I did it regularly as an undergrad as part of a school-sponsored group that aimed to educate other students about LGBTQ issues and what it’s like to be a part of the LGBTQ community, usually requested by teachers for their classes or residential life staff for their residents, through telling our stories and an open question and answer period), but I don’t know if it’s something that others out there in cyber-space are actually interested in.
In addition to not posting much, I’ve also been neglecting other blogs out there that I type read and comment on, and I do apologize for that–I’m back to regularly reading and keeping up with your blogs, something I definitely have missed these past two weeks.
Posted on August 14, 2011, in General transition thoughts and tagged female to male, ftm, gender, gender expression, gender identity, glbtq, lgbtq, trans, transgender. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.