Monthly Archives: August 2011

Less than 24 Hours Away

Consult is less than 24 hours away! I’m nervous, excited, scared, and just about everything else under the sun.  I don’t know what will happen if I don’t get what I want–let’s hope I don’t even have to worry about that.  I’m incredibly thankful and grateful to all those who have been supporting me so far, including all of the people on here and my friends in real life.  Cross your fingers for good results tomorrow.

Last year?

THE letter

I can’t believe that my top surgery consult date is less than a week away.  Three days away, to be exact.  I clearly remember 9 weeks ago, when I had made the appointment and shortly after that wrote my first post here on this blog.  What seemed like ages in the future has now come to be so close.  I’m trying not to obsess over the appointment…the more I think about it, the more nervous I get.  I’m definitely scared and nervous about standing half-naked in front of somebody while they poke and prod the very area that I so highly dislike.  But I’m way more scared about the possibility of not walking out of there with a surgery date.  I got my letter from my therapist on Saturday, so I’m all set from that end, but you never know what’s going to happen during the consult.  I could ramble on and on about this, but the fact is, it won’t give me any answers.  So I just have to mentally table it until then and wait it out. Keep reading

Nothing New

I know it’s been almost two weeks since I posted something, and I’m not really sure why.  Probably because not much has been going on.  For whatever reason, I haven’t really been focusing too much on my upcoming transition.  I think it’s because I can’t really do much about it right now.  I already am prone to anxiety, so I figure it’s easier to not focus on something that I have no control over until, at the very least, August 31st.  I’ve definitely been putting more energy and focus into other areas of my life, like work, exercising in a healthy manner, and even allowing myself to relax and do some things I enjoy (reading, crafting, playing canasta, etc.).  The more I think about my appointment on the 31st, and what it could really signify (the beginning of what could be my “new life,” so to speak), the more anxious I get.  So for the next two weeks, I’d rather not think about it too much.  Keep reading


I’ve definitely been feeling quite a bit better since my last post…maybe I just needed to get all of that out.  Anyway, I came across a great video that somebody shared on Facebook earlier so I thought I would pass it along here.  It  made me both cry and smile and I thought it was well done in its simplicity.  See what you think.

“you’re not alone.”

I Know It Gets Better, But…

I’ve been feeling really down and just kind of sorry for myself as of late.  Yeah, this is probably going to be one of those posts.  So fair warning if you want to stop reading now, I guess.  For those of you out there who are going through similar things, I’m sure you’ve felt the same way or at least similarly.  You just want the physical changes to have happened yesterday, along with the emotional and mental changes that come along with the process of a physical transition.  Time can’t move quickly enough to get to that doctor’s appointment, or the surgery date, or that next shot of hormones. Keep reading

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