Monthly Archives: July 2011
Quick work update this morning…I have come out to my first person!
As I mentioned in my last post, there was the possibility of me coming out to a coworker relatively soon, or rather, my coworker’s friend (who is my former professor) mentioning my transition to my coworker. That conversation never actually happened between the two of them, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell my coworker myself. Rather than bore you with the exact details of the conversation, I can pretty much sum it up in one word: Awesome.
I feel like the past week has been full of everything and nothing. There haven’t been any major breakthroughs, events, or news to report, but at the same time, I’ve come out to a few more people (my younger brother, one of my best friends from high school, and one of my former professors who I talk to regularly) and have been feeling more and more impatient. I think the “everything” is just the swirling mess in my head. I have another 4 ½ weeks until my top surgery consult, and I’m slowly becoming more paranoid about it (because I want it to go well—I want a surgery date by the end of that appointment!). What if the doctor says he can’t do the surgery until I lose weight? What if he doesn’t have any open dates until next year, or even further away? What if there’s something so wrong with me that he just can’t do it? (Okay, that one is a bit much, but you can see where the circles of fear, obsession, and despair are leading me!) Keep reading
I randomly stumbled across this post this morning via Complete Teresa’s blog (which I had stumbled upon through the tag surfer) and found the below to be quite humorous (although the it addresses something much more serious). As an Athiest and someone who never really participated in or understood organized religion, it always boggled my mind (and quite often incensed me) as to why people followed some parts of the Bible quite literally but other parts not at all.
via Complete Teresa
Over the past few weeks, when I’m at work, I’ve been feeling like I’m going to explode. I’m fully out as gay and people know about my partner, but not a single soul knows about this transition. I’ve been waiting to come out to my coworkers and boss until I have a surgery date, or at least until after my surgery consult. I feel that it’s better to wait until I know for a fact the surgery is 100% going to happen rather than tell everybody but keep presenting as a female if for some odd reason the surgery won’t happen. So I’m looking at another 6 weeks or so. And it’s killing me. Keep reading
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Okay, beyond the obvious. What do you see when you really look, deep into yourself? A good person? Someone you’re proud of? Someone you like, or even better, love?
For all of my life (no, really, no exaggeration here), I’ve absolutely and utterly hated who and what I see when I look into the mirror. So much so that I frequently made it a point to not look into the mirror, and most especially never look myself in the eyes—the pain was just too great. I’ve never seen myself as attractive, or worthy, or someone to be proud of, or really anything remotely positive. Part of this is due to Keep reading